She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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