yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
