No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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