So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
