I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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