And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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