i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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