Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
