Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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