Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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