this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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