Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
