I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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