and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize