you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
