He uses pillows to masturbate.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Mom said you looked used
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
