Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
