Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
