how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
