Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Im part way to drunk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
