we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
