Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
