Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This house was built for laser tag.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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