She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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