guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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