nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
