Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize