I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
