Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Did I show you my penis last night?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I could fuck to npr.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
