Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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