my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
