I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He kissed a someone with a penis
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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