She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
