i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
