would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
