I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize