Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
