just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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