Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
