awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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