She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
