bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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