Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
