I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
