the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
