what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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