I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
