Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
