So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
