i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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