I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
