You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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