fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
