It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
