My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
