he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
