I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
