I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
