What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
