ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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