Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.

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(917): View more from New York City

i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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(515): View more from Iowa

i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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(636): View more from Missouri

I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level

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(561): View more from Florida

We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.

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