Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
