Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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