Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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