barbara walters just said penis...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
