what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
