Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
