I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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