Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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