What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Operation Purity has been aborted
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
