quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
