Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
and you fell through a lawn chair
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize