Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
