I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
