her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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