Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
