you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
