I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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