one might say we're banned from that church
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
