Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
